$ + Christmas = PRESENTS not LOVE

Today on the way to school I was talking to the kids.. telling them that Christmas is a little over a month away. They are getting so excited!! Last year on Christmas eve we stayed up late and "tracked" Santa on the Internet. We could see what Country he was in, the cities he was delivering to... SO exciting tracking his journey. The kids are excited to do it again this year, we've decided to clean off a shelf we have in our family room and set the lap top there, that way we can track him right down to the neighbors house!! THEN, the conversation goes like this.... Thomas says "does Santa deliver everywhere??" And I said "yes of course" Thomas says "even to Africa" and I said "yup, even to Africa" And then Fasika says "NO he doesn't" I thought oh shit I knew exactly where she was going with this. I am so not prepared to have this discussion, and in the school parking lot no less. Fasika was almost 4 years old when we brought her home. She remembers everything, and she remembers having nothing, no clothes, no food, no toys. She said "Santa NEVER came to Africa, he didn't bring presents, he didn't bring food, he didn't bring money, he didn't bring nothing. I guess he thought all of us Africas were naughty" So on the 4 minute ride to school, I managed to get them excited about Christmas and at the same time make Fasika feel ashamed of her Country and it's people. Great, huh?! I tried the whole "different Countries celebrate different ways, some give presents and some give love.... blah blah blah" Fasika says "kids want presents NOT love" And she's right.. duhh! At 6 what kid wants to pass up a new Wii, or DSI or baby doll, or any of those material things for love????

The conversation ends with Fasika saying "I guess I AM lucky" And what she means is "lucky" that we brought her here so she doesn't miss out on anymore presents. For the last two years since we've been home with Fasika, there have been countless times she has overheard people say "she is so lucky you adopted her." Annoying and ignorant. If anyone is lucky, it's US. But back to the Christmas in America vs. Christmas in Africa thing.... Any ideas?? The last thing I want to do is make Fasika to feel "lucky" that she is here because there will be Christmas presents under the tree, loaded stockings hanging from the mantel and food on the table.... any suggestions????

THE LITTLE BROTHER POEM
By Autumn

nit wit

dip stick
ding bat, germs
sticky boogers
nasty colds,
he smells like worms
eats his toes
picks his nose
and sits on "todes"

Although her poem is cute, very cute... and some of it (well most of it) is very true... that's my baby boy! He is a bit of a nit wit & a ding bat at times, he's got germs no doubt, boogers.. of course, he very seldom smells like worms, I've seen him "eat his toes." But there is one thing he would never do... he'd never sit on a "tode"

He is a very typical little boy. He's rough, he's loud, he's dirty, he likes video games, wrestling, watching football, playing sports. Did I mention that he doesn't eat meat???? Hasn't for 3 months now, you can ask him if he likes meat and he will say "yea, I like meat, it's yummy, but I LOVE animals" Isn't he sweet?!? All this from a little boy who just a few months ago would eat cheesburgers and hot dogs, tuna fish, steak... you name it. So in addition to all of those things his big sister listed, I need to add

sweet and kind
the biggest heart you'll ever find
no chicken, no beef, no fish
get this boy a vegetarian dish!!

Love ya buddy!

D = E - R

Disappointment = Expectations - Reality ??

EXPECTATION: a belief about the future. Anticipation: anticipation with confidence of fulfillment. The feeling that something is about to happen.


OR my definition... EXPECTATION = DISAPPOINTMENT


Disappointment-- this occurs when you are let down or left with unfulfilled expectations. It can be as simple as being stood up for a date, or as serious as being deserted by a friend in the darkest hour of need. I think it's safe to say that in many cases when you have a certain expectation you instantly set yourself up for disappointment. We all have expectations... 100's a day in fact. We expect our alarm will go off at the right time, we expect the car to start, we expect our kids to get up and go to school, we expect our take-out orders to be hot and made to order (except at the South Barre, McDonald's... just plan on expecting the wrong order, every time!), we expect our Friends to call and be there when we need them, we expect our paychecks on payday. Most of our time is spent expecting, expecting something. Our moods, our feelings, our lives are molded by the outcome of each and every expectation, positive or negative.

Usually, I don't sweat what I can't control. I can pretty much shake anything off... But I have also learned not to place my expectations on people, events, or occasions that I can not trust or count on. Therefore avoiding many certain disappointments from unfulfilled expectations. I have been told this method isn't ideal, but then again until you have walked in my shoes, do not judge. When we have expectations, and we hit the wall of reality, we become disappointed.

It's been a while.....

Months actually, 7 of them. 28+ weeks. 2 seasons have passed, all 3 kids have celebrated their birthdays, a total of 5 teeth lost, a new car, Fasika's 2nd gotcha day, first day of 1st and 3rd grades, and much, much, much more... none of which I can elaborate on at the moment.

It's almost impossible to "blog" when I can't write about my thoughts.... Or when I have to monitor what I say and/or how I say it... Or when something so powerful takes over and consumes your life and I can't discuss it. So for now, I will remain vague... and I'll blog about the things I can.... and someday when everything is said and done, I can be real, and say it how it is...